We signed up for the adoption process a while ago with the understanding that uncertainty would be involved. As part of our program you have control over a few things – the family health history (as far as parents know of, or will disclose it) – and, well that’s about it. so really don’t have control over anything. The waiting part has been OK with me. Not knowing when, or if, our new child will come to us hasn’t been something I’ve focused on. Rather, I’ve tried to keep my attention on enjoying the way things are. That said, as every day now passes I start to think, “is there something wrong with our profile?” or “was that the right picture to put on the cover?”

In the end, it will all have happened too fast I suspect. But for now, the uncertainty is starting to drive me nuts. It’s going to be such a big change in our lives – two kids, two races, two origins – that I’m just dying to “dig in” and get to work on making it all fit together.

Dear Kiddo – if you happen to reading this, HURRY UP!

Drawing, of any kind, had begun to feel pointless which bother him a bit. His rep called diligently every day to check on the Franzen’s piece. “How is it going?” and “When will it be done?” Neither of which he had any idea how to answer.

“Fine.” “Soon.” seemed to placate them so he stuck to that line.

As an artist you learn that these feelings of hopelessness come and go; eventually you make peace with that fact. Yet, this time he knew it was different and as his brushes sat, dry in that old glass vase next to his paint-speckled sink, he began to feel more and more trapped by some that used to set him free.

The pledge drive for Sachet Bay’s public radio station had started as any event like this does. “We’ll wrap this up just as soon as we meet our goal, callers. You know what that means‚Äìthe sooner you call in and make your pledge, the sooner we’ll get you back to regular programming!” Kathy Marklay had said this three-years ago. This was officially the longest pledge driver ever.

They certainly hadn’t intended it to be this way. It was only $15,000 after all. A small amount for such things, and, in reality, they didn’t even need it. The stations benefactor, an independently wealthy liberal from Tennessee who’d done well in the late 90’s - a dot-com that sold doggy diapers and baby-slings for cats - and gotten out before the gettin’ went bad, he had made sure that the station would never need another dime to keep the soothing voices of NPR’s even-keeled, albeit liberal, DJs filling the 6,000 square foot home he had built upon is retirement at the age of 32.

Never-the-less, they feel the need to at least act the part of a desperate public radio station. And, of course, once they’d started it wasn’t as if they could stop. They’d loose face in the view of their listeners who, for the record, knew damn-well they didn’t need the $15,000 and weren’t about to pony-up that $200 pledge, even if it buy them that fancy fleece vest with the station’s logo embroidered on it. So there they were, three years later and only $14,457 short of their goal. Now, only if they could get a corporate match for contributions over $50, then they could wrap it all up. If only…

There’s a great piece in the NYT Opinion blog, Relative Choices, titled “Being Adopted, and Being Me.” Adam Wolfington is a 16-year-old black man who was adopted by a white family. From his account it’s an incredible loving family who has done a lot of things right in terms of supporting him in his interests and vigorously deffending his role as their child. One account he gives that I found to be great was,

When people ask if she is my “real mother,� she asks, “What do I look like, a hologram?�

Another one:

So Mom and I sat down and I told her the ten worst things people said to me. She wrote them down. Then I made up answers that were funny but not mean. (Mom’s rule is to never make someone feel bad just to get back at them.) Mom wrote these down too. I then memorized the list. Next time it happened I was ready. It felt great! I wasn’t so scared, or hurt (as much), or embarrassed by those questions again.

It’s great to read a success story like this as we go through our adoption process. With so much that can go wrong, it’s nice to hear about something going right.